I Promise You Won't Be Alone
by Notesandlit123
Summary: Remus and Hermione. If you ship Remione as hard as I do, then hopefully you'll enjoy this! Hermione Granger is having a really tough time. Voldermort was back and now Dolores Umbridge was taking over Hogwarts. So when Hermione has to confront her boggart in the Burrow at Christmas, who will be there to help pick up the pieces of her life just before it falls apart completely?
1. Chapter 1

**The first Chapter! I am not JK Rowling! I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think and give the story a follow to the other chapters I have coming!**

**~ Notesandlit123**

I was sat in the kitchen of the Burrow. It was the evening of Christmas day. I was alone drinking hot chocolate at the table. I'd lost track of the time, I had been sat here thinking for so long. Mrs Weasly had come in a while ago and used her wand to wash and put away all the dishes in two flicks of her wrist. Other than that, I'd seen nobody since we all started relaxing after a day of presents, food and music. The room was warm and there was a lingering smell of turkey and mince pie leftover from all our feasting that day. It had been dark outside for a very long time and the fire was dying. I must have been sat there for a very long time. In fact, I'm not exactly sure I could still say that it was Christmas Day. All I knew was that I had been lost in my own thought for a very long time. It's just that I was so worried and scared. I had one hundred percent faith in Harry; I believed Voldermort was back. This alone was petrifying. However, what worried me even more, was that nobody was thinking about what would happen next. Even if Voldermort failed in gaining whatever weapon he was after, did they really think he would stop there? Voldermort would get powerful again. And then how long until he started going after members of the Order? I've been thinking about this and more for a very long time and the stress was now really getting to me. I put down my mug which I had been gripping in my hands so long the shape had started to imprint itself onto my palms. I put my head in my hands with my elbows on the table. How I wished that if I pressed my face in hard enough, I'd just be swallowed up and never have to even think about this anymore. I'd become so lost in thought, I almost didn't hear the footsteps enter the room.

'Hermione?' A voice said. I looked up to see Professor Lupin looking at me. He had a concerned look on his face and, for a moment, I was confused as to why, and then I realised how me sitting there with my face in my hands must have looked.

'Hello, Sir. Don't worry, I'm fine.' I said quickly, trying to shake his concern in vain. 'I was just thinking.'

'Anything you want to talk about?' He said still wearing the look of worry on his face. I don't know what it was. Maybe the sudden glimpse of comfort or just the fact that I had held it in for so long, but I started crying. It was just a single tear at first, but it was then followed by many more, all powered by my pent up emotions. As soon as I had started crying, Professor Lupin had sat in the chair next to me and and had started to hush me and stop me crying. At last, when I had finally stopped, Professor Lupin spoke properly.

'Hermione, what's troubling you?' I didn't want to, but I couldn't help myself. It all came pouring out. Professor Lupin did not say a word until it was over, he just sat and listened intently.

'...and now you must think I am a stupid, silly little girl who doesn't know what she's talking about.' I finished. 'Hermione, you could mistake a cat for a dog and nobody, let alone a person who spent a year teaching you, could ever think you silly or stupid.'

'T-thanks, Professor.' I replied, not knowing what else to say.  
>'Hermione, after it being nearly two years since I was your teacher, as well as the current circumstances we are under with the Order, I think you can call me Remus.' He said with a slight, but warm smile.<p>

'Okay, Prof- Remus; I think that will take a little time to get in my head.' I said, with an even weaker smile. And that was it, I was off again. I hadn't had that much comfort in a long time, and I guess that I just wasn't used to it. To my surprise, Remus took my hands in his.

'It's okay not to always be so strong, Hermione'. I don't know how long we sat like that - I wasn't having a great night when it came to time keeping.

After God knows how long, Remus said, 'Come on, you should get some sleep.' I picked myself up and together we walked up the stairs. He walked me all the way to the door to the room in which I was staying. 'Hermione, if there is ever anything you ever need to talk about, you know where I am.'

'Thank you, Remus' I said opening the door. 'Good night.'


	2. Chapter 2

**This is where the action really kicks in. If you have got to this bit then thank you so much for giving this story a chance!**  
><strong>Remember, if you like this story, please follow it, because I will be continuing it! I am not JK Rowling!<strong>

**~ Notesandlit123**

The next morning, I went downstairs after rising early, despite how little I had slept. It wasn't long before I heard footsteps padding down the stairs. To my slight disappointment, Mrs Wealsy entered the kitchen. I tried to get rid of the feeling that I wanted it to be someone else.

'Good morning, Hermione.' She smiled at me warmly.

'Good morning, Mrs Weasly' I responded. 'Did you sleep well?' We continued in small talk for while as she made me some toast for my breakfast. I was half way through my meal when someone else entered the room. Remus had stopped, leaning against the wall. Mrs Weasly and I said good morning as he smiled at us.

'So, what are the plans today, Molly?' Remus said. Although the question was directed to Mrs Weasly, Remus said it while looking at me. Slightly embarrassed, I looked at hands in my lap.

'I am afraid all the children will probably hate me because I know it's their holidays, but there are a few chores that need doing around the house.' Molly said with a regretful look on her face.

'I may not be their teacher anymore, but I can still get them into gear', Remus said, finally looking at Molly.

'A-actually, Remus, if it's not too much trouble, do you think you would mind supervising them today?' Molly asked. Obviously, Remus agreed strait away.

The way Mrs Weasly had it planned was that we'd all go off into pairs to tackle the chores around the house.

'I'll take Fred up to the attic to deal with that blasted ghoul. Ginny, you go with George and dust every room in the house. Yes, best to keep those two separate. Ron, Harry, you two go together into the garden - it needs de-gnoming. Then Remus, would you mind taking Hermione to get that boggart that's hiding under one of the floor boards upstairs?'

'If Hermione doesn't mind' Remus smiled. They all looked at me. I told them that it was fine and we all went of. Remus led me up the stairs and along a corridor. Close to where the skirting board started, I noticed one of the floor boards was loose. I glanced at Remus and he nodded his head. That was where the boggart was. I knew how to handle boggarts but I still felt apprehensive, probably because Remus was there.

'Hermione, don't look so scared.' Remus said. I had no idea how he could tell I was. I wasn't aware of showing it on my face. 'I'll remove the floor board and then - well you know what we do.' I took a breath and smiled at Remus. 'Okay, one, two..' With one strike of his wand, the floor board swung up. The boggart transformed. As quickly as it had come out of the floor board, the boggart took the form of a full moon and hung itself in front of Remus. We both started shouting 'REDIKULUS!' It took a while but it soon started to shrink back into the floor board.

'Wow', I said, 'It's a strong one'

'Indeed' Remus replied, rubbing his jaw.

'Again'. We continued to tackle the boggart all morning. We tried attacking it at different angles. No matter how much I argued, Remus always insisted on being closer to the boggart, as to prevent the boggart taking form of whatever my true, darkest fear was. As the morning progressed, I became more and more comfortable with Remus. By the time Mrs Wealsy called for lunch, we were laughing and joking around - despite the nature of our task. As, we walked down the stairs we both agreed that we would go back to the task over lunch. As we sat eating our sandwiches at the table with everybody else, we became so engrossed with our conversation we completely ignored the rest of them.

'What was your life like before you got your letter?', Remus asked.

'Well, my parents are dentists so we were pretty well off. I was quite young so I didn't fully appreciate that then. I read a lot - I had friends - I just didn't spend much time with them. But when I got to Hogwarts, I some how managed to mix those two lives. I have the world's best friends and yet, I still get to enjoy my school life.' I said.

'You and I are very similar in the sense we read a lot.', Remus said to me. 'You really are incredible, Hermione Granger.' He looked at me right in the eyes as he said it and I felt and odd sensation rising up inside me. No, this couldn't be happening. He was twice my age! We sat there looking at each other for a while until Mrs Weasly started clearing away the plates.

After we finished helping clear away, Remus and I returned upstairs. We continued our varied attempts at defeating the boggart. We were on about our 5th attempt after lunch when Remus tripped over the floor board that he had removed. When Remus hit the floor, the boggart turned its attention towards me. It started to transform once more. I readied myself for whatever it may turn into. But then, to my surprise, the boggart turned into me. My boggart self just stood looking at me. The staring match continued until boggart me started screaming. Screaming all the names of the people that meant something to me. 'HARRY! HARRY? WHERE DID YOU GO? RON!' She continued. Fred. George. Percy. Mrs Weasly. Mr Weasly. Hagrid. 'REMUS. REMUS, WHERE DID YOU GO?! WHERE IS EVERYONE?! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!'.

'RIDIKULUS!' Remus' voice broke through the names that where engulfing my ears. Finally, the boggart vanished. I dropped to my knees. That was it, that was my biggest fear. I was petrifyed that I would be alone, that all the people I cared about would disappear. Remus knelt down beside me and put his hand on my shoulder.

'Hermione?' And that was it - I started crying extremely hard into my hands. Remus hesitated before pulling me into him. Using both arms, he pulled me into his chest. So overcome with tears, I didn't even hesitate before continuing to sob. But this time, into Remus' chest. Once I had calmed down, I looked up at him.

'I don't want to loose anyone, Remus'.

'Hermione, you won't be alone. I promise you.' He replied. He was looking right at me and I opened my mouth to talk but nothing came out. Suddenly, everything changed between us, right their. A few days ago he had just been an old teacher but now... I had never felt that kind of connection with another person before. I continued staring at him so hard I didn't notice how close together we now were. What happened next took me by surprise but still felt so, so right. He leaned his face closer to mine and I brought my face up until his lips touched mine. He brought his hand up to my head and put his hands in my hair. I felt so wonderful, a swooping sensation took me, it was literally as if butterflies where flying inside me stomach. Remus. Wow. Suddenly, the realization that I was kissing someone twice my age hit me. I pulled away quickly.

'Hermione', Remus said in almost a whisper. I got to my feet and ran upstairs into my room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 is a little short one to keep you going. I'm planning to right two more longer chapters for you tonight and should get them up in the next 4-6 hours. Thanks to the people that have already shown interest in the story. If you're new, please favorite and follow this story :) Thanks **

**~ Notesandlit123**

I didn't know what to do. What had I done? I had, completely willingly, kissed Remus. He was twice my age! He was.. he was REMUS for Merlin's sake! It wasn't his fault. We both did it, I mean... we both wanted it. Did I want it? Yes, of course I did but this was bad. I couldn't have feelings for Remus. I couldn't. But I did. I had feelings for Remus and I had only just noticed. It all made sense now. The looks, the smiles, everything. What was going to happen? I heard Crookshanks scratching at the door and got up to let her in. As I opened the door I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, thinking it was Remus, I shut the door quickly and got back onto my bed, where I had been laying for the rest of the day. I heard the footsteps stop outside my door, then there was a knock.

'Hermione?' I heard Mrs Weasly's voice. Oh Merlin, he had told her what had happened! She was here to question me about it. 'Hermione, can I come in?'

'Yes, of course, Mrs Weasly. Come in.' I said, trying to hide the shaking in my voice. Mrs Weasly entered.

'Hermione, I've been calling you, dinner is ready.' She said. A wave of relief swept over me. Thank Merlin Remus hadn't spoken to Mrs Weasly.

'I am so sorry, Mrs Weasly, I'll be right down.' I said. Mrs Weasly bid be goodbye and shut the door. I stood up and prepared myself to go downstairs.

I entered the kitchen, everyone was already well into their meal. Despite the amount of people in the room, there was only one pair of eyes on me. I tried my best to avoid eye contact with Remus and took my seat on the end of the table, next to Harry and Mr Weasly who was in a wheel chair at the head of the table. I started to spoon soup into my bowl but I really didn't feel like eating. I just continued to stare into my bowl as I ate. One by one everyone started heading out of the kitchen. Soon, it was only Mrs Weasly, Remus and I still in the room. Mrs Weasly was cleaning everything away as Remus and I still sat at our soup.

'Did you two not like the soup? I can make you something else if you want?' Mrs Weasly said, turning to us.

'The soup is fine, Molly. I think Hermione and I are a little tired after that boggart - it was a tough one.' Remus reassured her. I was grateful to Remus for talking. I was certain that if I did, I'd open my mouth and only a little noise would come out.

'Okay, well I'll leave you two to finish your food.' Mrs Weasly said as she left the room. It was then that I first made eye contact Remus since I entered the room. It was only quick, but we both glanced at each other. I was going to have to talk to him at some point. Not now, but before the end of the holidays and my return to Hogwarts. I stood up, again Remus glanced at me but I avoided his eye as I used my wand to clean and put away my dishes. I walked towards the door and was about to get through the door when I felt a hand grab my arm just above my elbow. I tried to shake the grip but it didn't work.

'Hermione, please'. Remus said, I did not turn around to look at him. 'Just tell me, are you okay? I couldn't live with myself if I pressured you.' He said, still not letting go of his grip on my arm. Finally, I turned around.

'Remus. Remus, of course you didn't pressure me. I.. I wanted it too.' I said meeting his eyes. I could not put my finger on specifically what it was, but my words seemed to do something to Remus.

'I - I think we should talk.' He finally said. Yes we did.

'Yes, s... so do I' I replied.

'Shall we?' Remus said, gesturing back into the kitchen. I walked in with Remus following.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay! Chapter 4! I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. I would love it if you could start leaving reviews telling em what you like and what you dislike? No hate, just some constructive criticism. This is my first story uploaded to _Fanfiction_ even though I have been using it for years. I write fanfiction for a few Facebook pages, but I'm glad I can do it on here to get to an audience that probably wants to see some! Again, if you want to see more please give the story a favorite and a follow! And once more I am not JK Rowling (unfortunately)...**

**~Notesandlit123 **

We sat down so we were facing each other over the table and put my elbows on the top of it and rubbed my eyes. This was going to be a tough conversation. I took a long look at Remus. For someone in his mid-thirties, Remus did not look aged. Although he had dark circles under them, his big, hazel eyes still shone brightly. His soft hair hung down over his face and his mouth was slightly parted as if he was getting ready to say some thing.

'I think you should put a sound muffling charm on the room, Remus' I said. He reached into to his pocket and pulled out his wand.

'Mufflaito' Remus said, calmly. After that we both just looked at each other. Who would be the first to speak?

'Remus, I...' I began but could not finish.

'Hermione, I think that I should tell you something.' Remus said, quietly. 'For a while now, I have had... I've had growing feelings. Feelings for you that maybe...maybe I should not have.' My heart was beating extremely fast.

'Remus, please...' I started.

'... but I can not keep them to myself any longer. I had to tell you. I was going to on the day before you left for Hogwarts but then... well you know what happened. I've been trying to fight them, but I just can't.', Remus finished. My heart was pounding in my chest by now. I looked at him. What else did I see behind those eyes? There was more than just the man that had taught me a few years ago. More than just Remus, if there was such thing as 'just Remus'. I had always admired him. He was so, incredibly intelligent, he was kind and he was witty. He had not turned bitter and cold as many do when they lose someone very close to them. I reached over the table and took his hand.

'Remus. I, I want you to know that... that I feel the same.' I said slowly and just as quietly. Remus smiled a little but it vanished just as quickly as it came. 'W what's wrong?' I asked. But I knew what was coming.

'Hermione..'

'Remus, I don't care. I know what you're going to say and I don't care.' I said urgently. He was worried. He was scared because he had lycanthropy. He was a werewolf.

'Hermione, please understand that I am dangerous. I become dangerous. I can not endanger you more than I already have. When Molly invited me here I told her that I shouldn't be around you. But she wouldn't have it.' He said as he looked at the table.

'Remus, look at me', he looked up slowly. 'It changes nothing.' We sat in silence for a while.

'Okay. Well. Hermione, we need to remember you are still underage.' Remus said, looking right into my eyes. 'When you turn 17 then... well then we can talk about whatever you may want to happen.'

'I understand' I replied. 'I turn 17 next September.'

'That long? Okay, well. As I said.', Remus looked at me. 'I don't encourage seacrecy between friends, Hermione... but maybe it would be best not to mention this to Harry and Ron, or anyone else that for that matter.'

'No, no I agree, don't worry.' I said taking a breath. Remus squeezed my hand.

Maybe this wouldn't turn out as bad as I thought it would.

The next few days were quite calm. I think that we were all recovering from Christmas and were getting ready for New Years. Remus and I would stay up for hours having conversations about everything and anything.

'...But do we have the right to keep grindylows from certain parts of the world? Why should our rights come before theirs?' I questioned one night as we discussed magical creatures interacting with muggles.

'That's a very good question and one that is very hard to answer.' Remus said.

'Since a very young age I've been so intrigued by questions like that. You know, philosophy and ethics. Why are we on this earth? What is the meaning of life?' I said truthfully.

'I think we are on this earth for many reasons. One of them being to never live a life you don't want to live. I can not contemplate an overall purpose of existence, but I do know that we need to make the lives we do lead count. Because you only get one life. You only get one chance. So we have to make the most of it, share it with each other. Revel in all it's beauty. Enjoy life together. We need to feel everything. Happy, sad, ecstatic, tired, energized, hate, love.' He said. I noticed his eyes light up as he spoke.

'I love the way your eyes seem to come alive when you talk about something that you are truly passionate about.' I said without even thinking. I blushed a little.

'Haha, well , Hermione. Life would be a little boring without a little life.'

We spent most nights like that, just talking. Sometimes about ourselves, sometimes about Hogwarts. About everything. I was already feeling so much better than I had been recently. When I was with Remus, he showed me that there was still hope. He had brought me to life again. He had caught me like you do a falling glass cup - just in time. And it was these times with Remus that reminded me that as long as we remembered the happiness and contentment that came with love and friendship, we could never truly lose ourselves to darkness, to hate, to Voldermort.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5! I just want to say, I want to stick to the original story line as much as possible, but I will be making some changes. Also, I may not kill of some characters and I may kill off some different ones so prepare yourselves! Once again, if you like the story, please give it a favorite and a follow! And I am still not JK Rowling! P.S There won't be anymore updates tonight; I am going to bed! P.P.S I am really sorry if there are any typos in there, I normally proof read my work really carefully but this chapter...well I am super tired and need sleep! Sorry :( x**

**~Notesandlit123**

New Years Eve was approaching and I knew what that meant. It meant going back to Hogwarts. I wasn't dreading it or anything that severe, it was just that it meant that I could not see Remus for the whole school term. I knew that it was nothing serious, but I was really starting to love spending time with him. I was not just about our conversations and what we talked about; I was really enjoying being near him. In every minuet we spent together, I was feeling great. I could push all my worries out of my head and just be the person I was before everything started happening. And Remus. Oh Remus. I have never met another human being quite like him. His ideas and thoughts were wide and vast. His understanding and also questioning of the world and of life itself was brilliant. His whole being seemed to revolve around the philosophy 'what's life without a little life?'. As our time together progressed, I found out that his whole body would light up with passion while talking about what intrigued him. I loved it. I had never met someone who could open my mind to so much. We would sit for hours and hours together just enjoying each other's company. The day before New Years Eve, Remus and I were hanging up decorations around the kitchen. The Weaslys weere hosting a party the next day to see the New Year in.

'Remus?' I said.

'Yes, Hermione?'

'What are we going to do when I go back to Hogwarts?' I asked with a small voice. Remus put down the handful of streamers he had been wrestling and lent against the wall. He took a deep sigh.

'Well, I guess we could write and there's always the floo network.' He said with a saddened look on his face.

'Something tells me Umbrige has got her eye on all the fire places in Hogwarts.' I said. It didn't look as if we'd be talking through the fire.

'We'll have to make the most of our letters then.', Remus said, taking a strand of my hair in his fingers. 'You're so beautiful, Hermione'. And there it was again. The tingling sensation in my stomach.

'Remus, I am going to miss you so much.', I said, looking up at me.

'and I am going to miss you, but you have to promise me something, Hermione.', he started. I looked up at him. 'You have to promise me that you'll stay safe at Hogwarts.'

'Remus, I will but remember, Hogwarts is one of the safest places for me to be.' I replied.

'Things are changing, Hermione.' I looked into his eyes. 'Even with Dumbledore there, it is becoming more and more dangerous for the students at Hogwarts. Especially students like, like you. Muggleborns.'

'W what? I don't understand.', I said timidly.

'Now that Voldermort is back, he has rallied many of his followers. Hermione, some of the death eaters have children that attend Hogwart and I think that the children may start acting more openly. You're a smart girl, Hermione, you know who to look out for. And worse of all, the way that Dolores Umbridge is going... let's just say I don't know how long Dumbledore will be at Hogwarts for. I just don't want you to get hurt.' Remus finished. I took it all in. I had been worrying so much about the future, I hadn't thought about what it would be like at Hogwarts. I understood what Remus had said about me and the other muggleborns, but I was more worried about Harry. What if the death eaters had told their children to give Harry a hard time?

'I'll look out for Harry as well.' I said suddenly. Remus smiled.

'I knew you'd say that'. He said. 'Sirius will be glad, he has been getting increasingly worried about Harry at the moment. You'll see him tomorrow. He is coming with the rest of the Order for the party.' That was nice, I sensed that Harry was missing Sirius.

'Come on, Hermione. We need to get these up.', Remus said picking up the streamers again.

The next day was chaotic. Final preparations for when everyone arrived were being done and tensions were starting to run high. I had to get Mrs Weasly to sit down with a cup of tea out of fear she was going to faint she was getting so flustered. We were all so busy I had barely seen Remus at all. The only time we really stopped for each other was just after I had come out of the bathroom.

I shouted, 'Bathroom's free!', we were all so busy that we were having to plan when we went to the toilet and there was always someone in there. What I didn't know was that Remus was stood right outside the door.

'Good to know', Remus said with a wink, when I turned out of the door to become face to face with him. I went to say sorry for shouting at him but I stopped myself. Just in that moment, we stood, just looking at each other. I felt so safe, looking up at him, so calm. It wasn't the only thing I was feeling though. The other feeling I had was so strong and so powerful that it scared me a little. I was becoming lost in this feeling. This feeling that I had never had before. When suddenly I heard running footsteps.

'Professor! Professor Lupin, we need your help.' Fred panted, out of breath. 'Ghoul. On the. Rampage.' Fred grabbed Remus by the arm and pulled him along the corridor.

'Looks like I'm off!', Remus said to me, looking back as Fred brought him down the corridor. I returned the knowing smile he had given me. As I turned around I could hear Remus talking to Fred. 'You know, you really can call me Remus, I wasn't joking.'

'Okay, Remus I Wasn't Joking - But I thought your last name was Lupin.'

When everybody started to arrive, I realized just how many people were in the Order. There were a few faces I recognized such as Kingsley Shaklebolt, but there were many that I had never seen. Remus and Harry had been glad to see Sirius. There were toasts to the Order and to the New Year. There was food, there was music, and overall, we were all feeling pretty good. I had a fun night. As much as I tried to get around to see everyone, I found myself with Remus for the majority of the night. We continued with our conversations yet I just couldn't shake the feeling I had felt earlier that afternoon in the hallway.

Suddenly, I heard Sirius cry 'Everybody, I want Harry to say something! Speech! Speech, Harry!', Harry gave Sirius a look as if you say 'thanks a lot for that one' and stood up. in the beginning of Harry's improvised speech, he stuttered a lot and did not really say much of significance. But then as he progressed...

'We have go hard times ahead of us. We all have and our lives are going to change. But we need to know, what we are doing is going to make a better life for the people who come after us. And if we stick together, and if we love one another then we will beat Voldermort. Because love is the deepest thing we can feel, it empowers us. It is what we survive on. Life is all about love, and, as a certain friend of mine always says, what's life with out a little life?

And it was then, as everybody else got to there feet and cheered and toasted. There among the chaos. It was there that I realized that I was in love with Remus Lupin.


	6. Chapter 6

**I am so sorry there was no update yesterday. Things got a little hectic. I have a whole bunch of homework at the moment, and I am trying my very best but writing takes time. I have quickly given you a small chapter just to update you. I know it's rubbish, but I have to get sleep because I have a whole load of wok with my GCSEs and ASs at the moment so I am having to make time. I promise tomorrow I'll give you one, maybe to, big long chapters. I am really, really sorry!**  
><strong>I am not JK Rowling. <strong>

**~Notesandlit123 **

I was supposed to be packing my trunk for Hogwarts. But I couldn't. I couldn't because I was in love. I was in love with Remus and I couldn't deny it. It had all happened so quickly. Yes, there had been glances, smiles and the odd look between us, and they had been happening for the past year or so, but I thought nothing of it. But now, in one Christmas break... well I had realized that I was in love with him. Merlin's beard what am I going to do? I had never been in love with someone my own age, let alone someone twice my age. This was so confusing and now I had to go back to Hogwarts worrying about this as well as my OWLs and Umbridge. I was just about to get lost in the same maze of thoughts I had been lost in for the majority of this holiday when Mrs Weasly called and said it was time to leave.

I was standing on platform 9 and three quarters. I was about to board the train when Remus had caught my arm.

'Hermione, before you go, I need to say...' He began, but was cut off by the whistle of the train.

'Remus I need to board the train.' I said, with a sad face.

'Hermione, I just wanted to say that...', but again, Remus was cut off. By Mrs Weasly this time.

'Hermione?! What are you doing?! Get on the train!' Mrs Weasly ushered me onto the train. I ran to the nearest compartment, dropped my trunk and looked out the window. I saw Remus mouth something. Did he just say what I thought he said? My heart was flustered. Did I just see Remus say the word 'love'?

Did Remus love me?


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, Guys! Here's the smaller of the two chapters I have for you. I just have to check the second, more long one, over once more and then you can have it too! Please, if you are enjoying the story, give it a favorite and a follow! It helps to know that at least a few people are enjoying what I am writing more, I am not JK Rowling.**

**~Notesandlit123**

I was trying to contemplate whether I could have just misread what he had said. I was reading his lips after all. I mean, there were lots of words that I could have misinterpreted. Further more, just because he may have said the word 'love', it doesn't mean he was saying that he loved me. He could have said that he hoped I had a lovely time at Hogwarts. In fact he could have been saying anything, but I didn't have chance to continue because Ron had started talking to me.

'Hermione, what is with you lately?', Ron inquired. I looked up expecting to see him with a look of irritation, but instead, he was glancing at me with concern.

'I am fine, it's just I have a lot to think about that's all.' I replied.

'Yeah, OWLs are really stressing me out as well.', Ron said, with a look that said 'but what can you do?'. Oh how I wished OWLs were the only thing on my mind.

We continued pressing through the dynamic countryside, rain was now pummeling the window. At some point, Dean Thomas came into the compartment, telling Ron and Harry that a second year had some sort of crazy animal that they just HAD to go and look at.

'Are you coming, Hermione?' Harry said. I raised my eyebrows in response. The gesture spoke volumes. I really wasn't up to gawking at a grotesque, possibly dangerous creatures right now. I sat by myself in the compartment. Harry and Ron still hadn't returned after ten minuets. We were going to be at Hogwarts soon, they better get a move on. I had slipped into my day dream once more when I heard the compartment door opening. I looked up expecting Ron and Harry but...

I saw a flash of blonde hair

I felt a burning pain rip through my whole body.

And that's all I can remember.


	8. Chapter 8

**PLEASE READ! I have tried to make this chapter jam packed for you. I am really sorry, but I am off hiking for the weekend tomorrow morning. Two days of carrying my tent, food and other supplies to different campsite. I LOVE DOING IT! But it does mean that I won't have any wifi, so I am afraid there will be no update for a few days :( I will try and give you a chapter on Sunday, but it depends on how tired I am. But now I want to see who you think Hermione's attackers were? I dropped you a hint of one of them a few chapters back, but I want to hear all of your ideas. There was more than one, poor Hermione! Please give the story a favorite and a follow if you like it, and maybe even a little review! I'm still not JK Rowling! **

**~Notesandlit123**

I woke, staring at a a ceiling. Two seconds later I realized the horrendous pain in my head. I let out a moan moving my hand to my head, and rubbing where the pain was the worst.

'Hermione?', I heard a voice that I recognized. The voice made me feel safe. I felt so calm with that voice. I tried to sit up to work out where I was.

'No, no. Stay lying down, Hermione.' I heard Madame Pomfrey's voice. I was in the hospital wing?

'What.. What happened?' I mumbled.

'Hermione, you were attacked. On the Hogwarts express, coming here. You have been in the hospital wing for three days.', Said the voice. It was a lot of information to process at once. I was trying my hardest but I couldn't fathom what my last memory was. When I finally did, I recalled it was the boys going off to look at something and leaving me.

'But, the... the train..', I was trying my best to string a sentence together but I couldn't and then everything went blurry and I was out again.

I had been hit with three cruciatus curses at once. I had also had several other hexes, jinxes and spells put on me before my attackers finished me off with some physical assault. Most of my injuries had been healed, but I was still in a lot of pain. When I finally came around properly, I had realized that the unnamed voice I had heard had come from Remus. I was still sleeping a lot, but had many questions planned for when I got the chance to ask them. That chance came after almost a week of being in the hospital wing.

'Remus?', I said one afternoon. I think he thought I was asleep because when I spoke he lent forward in his chair.

'Yes, Hermione?'

'Do you know who... who did this?' I said, looking up at him. Remus looked exhausted. How long had he been there?

'I don't. I am sorry, no one does. Do you not remember?' He said with a concerned look. He went on to tell me that I had been found on the train's floor, unconscious and bleeding from the physical wounds. The had brought me straight to the hospital wing. Apparently Harry and Ron felt awful about it. They were blaming themselves. Remus had assured me that he had comforted them but didn't think it was getting through to them.

'News was sent to your parents and the Burrow. I came as soon as I...', Remus started, but he looked down in embarrassment before he could finish.

'You've been here all this time?' I asked, looking up at him.

'Well, yes. Yes I have.' Remus replied, still looking down.

'Oh Remus, you must be so tired. You shouldn't ha... I mean, you didn't have to be here.' I stumbled.

'I wanted to be here, Hermione.' He said, finally looking at me before turning his head to look to see if me were alone. He took my hand. 'Hermione, I have been so worried. I knew this would happen. We think that... we think your attackers may have been a group of people from the list of children we have that we suspect to be related to death eaters.' I just stared at him as he continued, 'it takes a very dark person to do what someone did to you, Hermione. At one point, we thought we were going to lose you into a coma, but luckily, Madam Pomfrey did a great job at caring for you. Your parents were here until they were sure that you were going to be okay. Harry and Ron come down every chance they get. And I've, well I've been sat right here.' He finished. I was still having trouble understanding what was going on. I had been badly attacked. Remus had been by my side the whole time.

'Hermione?' Remus asked.

'How much do you remember from your trip to Hogwarts?' He said, with a look that suggested he was apprehending something.

'Um, not much.' I replied 'I am sorry.'

'Do you happen to remember what I had tried to tell you?' He asked.

'I do remember you trying to say something, but I am not too sure what it was.' I said, honestly.

'Hermione, I do not know if this is the best time for me to say this. But... well the reason I have been here - the reason I care so much is - is that I think that I am in-love with you.' He said, looking right at me. His stare was so concentrated, I was convinced he was trying to see right through me into Madam Pomfrey's office. My heart was jumping somersaults in my chest. The exhilaration mixed with joy was an odd sensation. Remus loved me. I loved Remus...

'Why?' I said, so suddenly that I surprised myself. It was so impulsive, it was almost comical.

'Hermione, if I was to tell you all the reasons, we would be here until next year. All I can tell you is that I am falling in love with you, Hermione Granger and I think I like it.' He said, a smile growing on his lips. I lied back on my pillow and closed my eyes.

'Remus' I breathed. 'Remus, I love you too.'

After my attack, the Order had placed a Remus, Sirius and Tonks in the room of requirement. They were there as a protection for all the muggleborns. Dumbledore and other Order members with in Hogwarts new they were there, but that was it. I was released from the hospital wing two weeks after my first arrival. Obviously, I caught many people's attention in the corridor. When people asked me what had happened to me, I told them the story Dumbledore had given me. I had a reaction to some Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder on the train and it had knocked me out for a couple of weeks but I was completely fine now. I had started to settle into my lessons and was sat in the Gryffindor common room when I heard a noise at the window. It was a Great Horned Owl carrying a note. I opened the window and took the note with my name written on the front in small neat handwriting. I opened it. It read:

_'Hermione, meet me outside the door of where I am staying on Saturday at 1PM exactly. _

_I can't be waiting for long in case I am caught, so please, don't be late._

_R'_


	9. Chapter 9

**I am going to try and get you another chapter tonight, but I am exhausted from my hike. I sprained my ankle and walked the last three kms on it! Anyway, I am super, super tired but I'll try and get you one! I am sorry that it is so short!**

**~Notesandlit123**

I was walking down a corridor on the 6th floor. I was heading towards the Room of Requierment on the 7th floor. It was where I was meeting Remus. I headed up the flight of stairs and directed towards the left corridor. I was lucky that I had not run into anyone. Most of the third years and above where in Hogsmeade, but I was still feeling a little paranoid. I turned the corner and saw him standing against the wall. I almost called his name but thought against it, after all, him even being in Hogwarts was a secret. I walked towards him slowley. I was about half way to him when he turned around and saw me. I wide smile grew on his face as he walked towards me.

'Hermione.' He said. A smile spread across my face. I don't know how he did it, but whenever I was around him, he made me feel so happy and safe.

'Hello, Remus.' I replied.

'I, I am sorry for the short notice, I .. I just had to see you'.

'I wanted to see you too.' I said looking at him. He looked at lot better than when I last saw him. The dark circles around his eyes weren't as prominant, and he didn't seem to be as tired. 'I don't want you to get caught though Remus.'

'If we are cautious, then we should be okay.' He said. 'I was thinking I could apparate us down to Hodsmeade, I know somewhere we can go where we won't be caught - Dumbledore gave us all the ability to apparate with in the walls of Hogwarts.' He added when he saw my puzzled look.

'Okay, I said. 'But I just wanted to...', But Remus beat me to it. He lent in and planted his lips on mine. For that moment we were kissing, I could think of nothing else, but Remus and I, right there together in our little bubble. It was amazing. If I could have saved that moment forever, then I would have. But our peace was soon ruined. I heard footsteps.

'Remus?! Hermione?!'


	10. Chapter 10

**I know these two chapters haven't been the best, but I am so tired and I need to go to sleep now. It took me forever to write this as my mind is as tired as my body! Anyway, quite a big event in this chapter, hope you enjoy it! Please, if you like it, give it a favorite and a follow! I am still not JK Rowling. **

**~Notesandlit123**

Sirius Black stood on the corner of the corridor with his mouth open. His eyes were wide in shock and he started shaking his head.

'Sirius, please... let us explain.' Remus tried. But Sirius wasn't listening.

'What the Hell is going on?! Hermione, are you alright?' He said, turning to me.

'Yes, yes.' I said, taking a step back. 'Sirius, I wanted it too...'

'Wanted it?! You mean you two...' He said, pointing between the both of us.

'Sirius, please try to understand.' Remus said, quietly.

'Understand that I just caught you kissing an underage girl, who happens to be your ex-pupil?!' Sirius exclaimed. He rubbed his face with his hands. 'Do you know what could happen to you two? Do you know how wrong this is?! Remus, do you realize the consequences you could face? It's Hermione for Merlin's sake!'

'We can't do this here, Sirius.', I interjected. 'Why don't we go inside the Room and we'll talk?'

Sirius just sat staring into the corner as we spoke and tried to get through to him. About our feelings, and our plans to wait until I was of age. I wasn't sure we were getting through, even though we'd been in the Room of Requirement for over half and out. Remus and I kept exchanging glances. We both knew that we were thinking the same thing; if we don't get Sirius on board, he may tell someone. Nobody else could find out until I was of age. Remus and I were in a lot of trouble if they did. Especially Remus. We had to make sure Sirius wouldn't say anything.

'Sirius, you have to promise us that you won't tell anyone, please.' I said, with a look of despair. 'Please'

Sirius looked at us for the first time in a while. He took a breath.

'You are both sure about your feelings. You both lo... love each other.' He asked. We both nodded our heads. 'And you are going to wait until Hermione is 17?' We both agreed again. 'Okay, well.. I'm not saying that I am 100% happy with this, but I won't say anything.' Remus and I both let out a sigh of relief. It was as if I was holding my breath this whole time.

'Thank you , Sirius.' I said.

'Yes well, just please don't let me catch you two kissing again.' Sirius smirked. I laughed, and was then followed by both Remus and Sirius into a laughing fit. I looked over to Remus.

'I love you' to me.

'I love you too.' I mouthed back. I did. I loved him. I loved him so hard, it hurt.


	11. Chapter 11

**A short update tonight to leave you with a cliff hanger until tomorrow! I hope you are enjoying the story, if so give it a favorite and a follow! Maybe even a review if you're feeling generous. Not JK Rowling last time I checked... **

**~Notesandlit123**

Life had started to return to normal. Well, as normal as it could be. Remus, Tonks and Sirius had settled in well, I didn't know how they did it, but they helped whenever they could when it came to the attacks. There had been more and more muggle borns being targeted by a group of students, mostly Slytherin. It wasn't always a severe attack, sometimes it was general pestering. For example, there would be snide comments made about their ability, parents and much more. It was becoming increasingly difficult to be a muggle born in Hogwarts. Remus said that they were trying their best to prevent full blown attacks, but I had still seen two or three more muggles being admitted to the hospital wing. Dumbledore had stood up a few times and reminded us how violence was not tolerated at Hogwarts, but obviously he couldn't say too much and point the blame at anyone in particular, especially with Umbridge around.

I was seeing Remus once or twice a week, but our visits were never prolonged. We were lucky that it was Sirius that caught us that time. I was working hard with my OWLs and Remus had to keep an eye on the school, so we were pretty stretched for time. What I would have given to sit and just talk with him. We could have talked about anything, but just to have a conversation with him would be brilliant.

Time was passing quickly and as the winter finally loosened it's grip on Hogwarts and spring started to creep up, we were slowly being crushed by Umbridge. We could cope with the rules. But soon she started getting more and more powerful, until one day...

Albus Dumbledore fled Hogwarts and Umbridge became headmistress of Hogwarts.

I was running to find Remus. I didn't know what else to do. Umbridge, headmistress?! I had to talk to Remus about this. I got to the Room of Requirement and started pacing outside it to try and summon the door. But it wasn't coming. 'I need Remus' I kept thinking. 'I need Remus'.

I was about to give up when something out the window caught my eye. A figure was running across the grass towards the forest. They must have been extremely distressed. It was only until I took a closer look that I realized...

The figure was Remus.


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, I am so sorry that I haven't updated in so long. But I am going to spend the rest of the day writing for you, so hopefully I'll upload another two chapters today. If you like the story, then give it a favorite and a follow. Also, drop a review if you want. I have the next chunk of the plot planned, but I'd love to hear what you guys may want to happen later in the story? ALSO! Constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome - see what I did there? ;)**  
><strong>Pretty sure I am still not JK Rowling!<strong>

**~Notesandlit123 **

Panic washed through me. I got that singing feeling that you can only associate with horror. Remus was the most composed person I know. He was calm and strong. I never felt scared when I was with him, so seeing him so panicked made me think of the hundreds of things that could have got him that way. Whatever it was - it wasn't good. All rationality left me and I sprinted down the corridor. I kept running - my destination was Remus. I had to get to him. Love and protection took over me and I wasn't thinking about anything else but getting to Remus. When I finally reached the doors, I threw them open and sprinted out. Running across the grass I was frantically searching for Remus. Then suddenly, I got a glimpse of robes flying into the forbidden forest. I made a beeline for the edge of the trees where I saw the cloak disappear. When I got into the first layer of trees I slowed down. Cautiously, I called out. 'Remus?' After no reply, I headed deeper. Even though the sun was still hanging on the horizon, the increasing thickness of the trees made it get darker as I proceeded into the forest. It was cold and I shivered. Maybe following him all that way into the forest wasn't the best idea. It would be completely dark soon and my only source of light would be the moon.

I new wave of terror hit me.

The moon was full tonight.

A sound hit me as soon as the realization did. A sound that confirmed my thoughts.

An ear splitting howl.

Run. I thought. Hermione just run I said to myself - but I was frozen to the spot with terror. I just stood there in silence. The only sound was the wind whistling through the trees. But I had to get out of there. He would smell me. I was just about to turn around and run when I saw some lights through the trees. I looked closer and saw that they weren't lights. They were eyes. I turned and sprinted. Running as fast as I could through the trees. I dodged several roots and low bushes. Run. Run. Run. Somewhere along the way I caught my arm on a bush or tree of some sort. It cut right into me and I felt the warm sensation of blood trickling down my arm. The pain was intense but I had to keep running. If I didn't, I would be leaving this forset with something a lot worse than a cut. I turned my head to see if there was anything behind me. Big mistake. I didn't see a big tree root and I tripped. I went flying. I landed on my front and scratched my face. I picked myself up but it was too late. I heard a rustling behind me and I turned around. The werewolf emerged from the trees. I found myself frozen again. I couldn't move. I was face to face with the werewolf. I had no choice. I did not want to hurt Remus, but I had to. I reached for my wand. Just as my hand wrapped around the wood, a beam of light shot past me and hit the wolf square in the chest.

'HERMIONE, RUN!' I heard a familiar voice shout. I didn't need telling twice. I turned and sprinted. I finally broke from the forest as I saw Hagrid running for his front door, his pink umbrella in his hand. He reached the hut and swung the door open.

'C'MON! IN 'ERE' Hagrid shouted. 'QUICK' I had never run so fast. I ran through the door of the hut and Hagrid slammed it shut. I stood in the middle of the room, my chest heaving. I started crying as Hagrid peered out the window. 'He won' come outta the forest.' He said, more to himself than to me. He turned to see me crying. He walked over to him and he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. 'Hermione, you're safe now. C'mon, sit down. I'll make you a cuppa.' He said. He led me to a chair and I sat down. Once he made me the tea, he handed it to me.

I finally spoke, 'thank you Hagrid, you saved me.'

'Wha' where you doin' in the forest?!' Hagrid asked, trying to keep calm. 'I saw Remus running down, I was confused. He normally goes down to the shreakin' shack on a full moon. Then I saw you following 'im. What were you doing, Hermione?!' I tried to speak. But I couldn't. I couldn't explain myself without telling Hagrid about Remus and I. But Hagrid saved me by speaking again. 'What was Remus thinkin'? He should have been at the shack hours ago. If I hadn't see ya, I dread to think what would've 'appened.

'Oh, Hagrid, I am sorry. I completely forgot.' Is all I managed to say.

'Well, at least he didn't hurt you.' Hagrid said. 'But your arm doesn't look good and that gash on your face needs cleaning too.' I looked down to my arm. The cut was long and deep. It had swollen and it was still bleeding. 'You need Madam Pomfrey but I can't let you leave until the sun rises. I'd take you, but I don't want to risk drawing him outta the forset. I'll send a warning up to Dumble.. McGonagall'

'You heard then?' I looked up at him. 'What are we going to do without Dumbledore, Hagrid?'

'I don't know, Hermione. I don't know.


	13. Chapter 13

**Just a short transition update. A nice big chapter coming up after this. Favorite and Follow if you like the story. Review if you want. Still not JK Rowling.**

**~Notesandlit123**

As soon as dawn broke, Hagrid shook me awake and told me that we were going up to the castle. The dull ache in my arm told me that the cut was infected. One glace down told me I was right. I asked Hagrid what the time was and he said 5:00AM. He wanted to get me to the castle before we could be caught by Umbridge. We trudged up the lawn, dew still coated the grass. I gripped my arm. It was really starting to hurt. When we got to the hospital wing, I sat down on one of the beds.

'Poppy' Hagrid whispered into the darkness. I heard a shuffling noise.

'Hagrid? What's going on?' The lights came on and Madame Pomfrey appeared. 'Oh, Hermione. Your arm.' She came over to me. 'Let me get this sorted out and then', she pointed to Hagrid, 'I want an explanation for why you have turned up at my office and half past five in the morning with a student who needs medical attention.' Madame Pomfrey tended to my arm. Cleaning my arm and then bandaging it before she waved her wand over my face and cleared away the cut. 'You're going to need to come back in 24 hours so I can get rid of the one on your arm. We need to let the infection clear first.'

'Okay, thank you, Madame Pomfrey.' I said.

'My pleasure. Now, shall we?' She said gesturing Hagrid towards her office. The two of them went into the room. I suddenly got worried again. Where they going to question me about Remus? It must have looked so suspicious, me going after him like that. It was only then that I thought of Remus. Was he still in the forest, injured? I didn't know what spell Hagrid had hit him with. Surely it wasn't anything that would... kill him... Hagrid knows about Remus' condition. I sat on my bed lost in worry for the next ten minuets. What was taking them so long? Finally, Hagrid returned with Madame Pomfrey. I expected them both to come back over to me, but only the healer did. Hagrid however, walked through the hospital wing doors and out of the castle.

'What... what is going on?' I asked 'Where is Hagrid going?'

'He is going to find Remus. He won't be in a good way after the spell he was hit with last night.' Madame Pomfrey said. I wasn't sure if it was panic but something made me extremely dizzy. Pain started shooting through my arm. I lied back on the bed, clutching at the bandage. 'My...my arm...' I stuttered.

'Hermione? Try and stay awake. Did you see what the plant you hurt your arm on looked like?' Madame Pomfrey tried. But I was already gone. 'Hermione?'


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay, a long chapter here for you! I am so tired and I am off to bed. I hope you like this chapter, I am sorry that the end is a bit rubbish, it is late and I started slacking a little at the finish. Downton Abby has started again! I absolutely love Maggie Smith! **  
><strong>If you like the story, please give it a favorite and a follow! Maybe even a little review... Pretty sure I haven't transformed into JK Rowling... yep... still not her!<strong>

**~Notesandlit123**

I woke up in the hospital wing later that day. I lay there thinking for a while until Madame Pomfrey noticed I was awake. She came over and asked me how I was while she changed the bandages on my arm. She also explained that whatever I cut my arm on was poisonous and I was going to be in the Hospital wing for a few days.

The first thing I said was. 'Did you get Remus?' I whispered it so that the few others in the wing couldn't hear me.

'He's in the room of requirement. He is still very ill but we can't risk him being down here. We can't have anyone else finding out he is here.' Madame Pomfrey replied. Then she said, 'Hermione, what's going on? Why were you following him?' I didn't know what to do. There was only one person who knew about Remus and I and that was Sirius. But Madame Pomfrey... could we trust her? What would she say?

I took a deep breath...

Madame Pomfrey just looked at me, she had not said anything since I had told her. 'Please... please say something.' I said weakly. Madame Pomfrey sighed.

'Well, this is new, Hermione. New but illegal.' She said.

'We are waiting until I am of age. We have done nothing illegal.' She looked at me. 'I swear'. To my surprise, Madame Pomfrey agreed to keep quite as long as we waited until I was of age. She asked me for the hundredth time if the wolf had scratched or bitten me at all and then left when I reassured her. Before she got to her door I called to her. 'Can I go and see him?' She looked at me.

'I'll transfer you. You can stay in the room of requirement with him' She said before walking into the room. I tried to hide my smile. At least I was going to be there with him. She had explained to me that he was found unconscious in the forbidden forest. The spell Hagrid hit him with had made his transformation longer and more painful than it normally was. She had gone into detail as to how but I was so worried, I wasn't even paying attention. I just had to see him, and anyway, it was my fault he was hurt. If I hadn't gone after him, Hagrid would never have had to use that spell to protect me from him. From him. I say it as if Remus was the wolf. When he transitions, Remus does not become a wolf. The wolf inside him comes out. Remus is not his wolf and his wolf is not Remus, that I know. I was scheduled to move up to the Room of Requirement when the castle had gone to bed. We were going to have to be really careful now that Umbridge was headmistress, Merlin only knows what she'd do if she found Remus, Sirius and Tonks.  
>I told myself that it wasn't the time to tell Ron and Harry about us yet. They knew that he and the others were in castle, but not about Remus and I. So when they came to visit me, I told them that Crookshanks had run into the forset and I got into a spot of trouble with an angry centaur.<p>

'That bloody cat..' Ron said shaking his head. 'Hermione, it really isn't worth you getting hurt.' Even though the story wasn't true, I was still a little hurt that he had said that.

'Hermione, he's right. You could have got really hurt, I mean look, you're lucky that Madame Pomfrey got to that cut.' Harry added. It was true, the plant's poison had been really toxic; I was very lucky that Madame Pomfrey treated it. I was going to have to stay in the room of requirement for a few days while I was on the medication course. The boys knew I was going to the room of requirement. We told them that I was going there because Umbridge couldn't find out I was injured - she would probably expel me for leaving the castle at night. The boys were not suspicious of the story and left after a few hours after saying that the DA wished I was better soon. I spent the rest of the day in the hospital wing reading. I kept glancing at the clock to see how long I had left until I was moving up to the room of requirement. When the lights came on after it got dark outside, I knew it wouldn't be long. When Madame Pomfrey finally came up to me and told me it was time, I jumped out of bed far too quickly and had to sit down again for a few minuets because I made myself dizzy again. We walked up seven flights of stairs to get to the seventh floor. I had to stop several times to catch my breath - the poison was still affecting me. When we got outside the room, Madame Pomfrey told me that to get in, I had to think of a secret hospital. I paced back and forth in front of the room and thought hard to myself. When the door finally appeared, Madame Pomfrey told me that I should find a bed in there for me. She was going to return in the morning to tend to us both. I thanked her and opened the door. The room was still the same size as it was when we used it for the DA meetings, however now there were shelves on one wall holding different medical equipment. There were two beds next to each other, their heads up against a different wall. In one of the beds I saw him. He was lying on his back, his eyes were closed and he had bandages up one of his arms. He had several cuts and scratches on his face and he looked like he had been in a fight, which I knew he hadn't. It's just what the transition did to him. I walked over to his bed slowly. Madame Pomfrey told me that he had not woken since they found him, and that he was probably still going to be unconscious when I saw him. I took his one, bandage free hand in mine. I sat on the edge of what was to be my bed and held our hands in my lap. 'I am sorry', I whispered. I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb. It was all my fault. I don't know how long I sat there for, but after a few hours I started to feel extremely sleepy so placed his hand back on his bed and climbed into mine. I closed my eyes preparing for the nightmares I knew were to come.

I woke that morning when Madame Pomfrey came in. She changed our bandages, and gave us both our medication. A table covered in breakfast food had appeared, but I couldn't eat anything. When she had left, I got up and resumed what I had been doing last night, holding his hand and praying he would be alright. I must have fallen asleep again, because I woke up with my head resting on his bed. It wasn't exactly a comfortable position because I was still sat on my bed and I was almost bent double. I jumped when I heard a voice.

'Looks like we have changed positions.' Remus said.

'Remus' I said quietly but inside I was so happy that he was awake.

'Not so long ago, you were the one in the hospital bed and I was the one worrying.' He said, taking a strand of my hair and twisting it in his fingers.

'How are you feeling?' I asked.

'Sore, but I'll live.' He sighed. 'What happened?' Oh Merlin. Now I had to tell him that I encountered his wolf - He wasn't going to like it.

'Remus, don't blame yourself. It was my fault.' I started but Remus interrupted me.

'What was, Hermione? What happened?' Then he saw my arm. His eyes widened in horror. 'Hermione?'

'Remus, calm down... I came to see you when I heard about Dumbledore, but I found you running across the grass. I panicked and followed you into the forest... I... I didn't realize it was a full moon... you transformed.' I said.

'No... no' Remus said, the tone of his voice broke my heart. I noticed tears in his eyes. 'Please, please tell me that I didn't bite you. Oh God, Hermione, what have I done?'

I grabbed his hands, 'No Remus, you didn't bite me. You chased me, and I caught my arm on a poisonous plant. Hagrid hit you with a spell that made your transition back to yourself damaging.' Remus sank into his bed with relief.

'Hermione, I am so sorry.'

'I just said, you di..' I tried but he interrupted me again.

'I knew this would happen. Hermione, I am dangerous.' Tears filled my eyes this time.

'It wasn't your fault.' I begged. 'Please, Remus don't blame yourself' I felt awful, he looked so distressed. I continued to try and make him understand. After a while I gave up trying and stood up. I walked over to him, leaded over and planted a kiss on his lips. He said my name quietly, but I stood up straight, walked over and climbed into my bed. 'I love you, Remus.' I said, staring at the ceiling.

'I love you too, Hermione. I just hate my wolf.'


	15. Chapter 15

**Just a little one for now. I am writing you Chapter 16 now. I am going to try and get in a good bit of Remus and Hermione lovey dovey bits. I don't want to do too much because Hermione is still under age so you'll have to wait! Favorite and Follow if you like the story and I am not JK Rowling.**

**~Notesandlit123**

It was killing me seeing Remus the way he was. He still blamed himself for what happened. I tried so many times to convince him otherwise, I even pointed out that even if it was his fault, I wasn't even injured that badly. But he wouldn't listen. I could tell that he was thinking about it constantly because occasionally, I would hear his hit the bed, or sigh into his hands. He wouldn't eat anything despite my pleas and would only help himself when Madame Pomfrey came to check up on him and give us both our medication. I was terrified he was going to turn around and say that we shouldn't spend time together anymore; he clearly thought that he was a danger to me. I didn't know what I was going to do... what if I lost him because of a moment of utter stupidity on my part? Oh Merlin... I wish he would just see sense...


	16. Chapter 16

**Favorite. Follow. Review. I am not JK Rowling.**

**~Notesandlit123**

I think I was finally getting through to him. I sat up in my bed the second morning I had spent in the room of requirement.

'Remus, why weren't you already at the shrieking shack?' I asked. Remus looked up at me.

'I was with Dumbledore for most of that day. He knew something was going to happen so was briefing me on what to do when Umbridge took over the position of Headmistress. I didn't have long after that. I knew that I was going to transform soon and I didn't have time to get to the shack. I didn't want to transform half way there and have a werewolf lose in a passage that leads to the grounds of Hogwarts, so I headed straight to the forest. I know that my wolf would never leave the trees unless it was lured out. I was careless. I should have just got to the shack on time.' Remus said putting his head in his hands. 'I don't know how I would be able to live if I'd bitten you.' I looked at him, some of his cuts had completely vanished and he was regaining his strength but he looked weary.

'Remus, this is getting ridiculous. When we you start to understand that I followed you. It was my fault. I was blinded with panic and didn't stop to think. You think you're endangering me? Well you are because I don't know how I will live if I don't get you back. Remus, you complete me, you are a part of me... and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.' He just stared at me.

'You haven't lost me, Hermione.'

'Then come back, Remus... I miss how we used to be.' I said quietly.

'You know, even though I shouldn't, if I had the strength to stand up properly, I'd come over there and kiss you.' He smiled.

'Why aren't you allowed?' I questioned. I took a step towards him. ' and anyway, I have the strength to stand.' I leaned into kiss him but he put his hands on my shoulders.

'Hermione, you're still underage. I know that we've... well I know I have kissed you in the past, but we really have to wait. Especially as Sirius knows. It will make it a lot more easier if we decide to tell everyone when you do become of age.

'Ah... about that.' I sat back on my bed. 'Madame Pomfrey knows. She needed to know why I followed you.' Remus sighed and asked if anyone else knew. I replied that there was none that I knew about.

'Well, then as long as Poppy is okay with it, then we should be alright.' I was about to reply but the door opened. Harry and Ron walked in.

'Hermione, Remus.' Ron said. 'How are you?'

We talked with the boys for about an hour. We discussed what the situation was with Umbridge. It didn't sound good. Professor McGonagall came and visited us as well. She brought me some of the work I was missing. I could always rely on her. She asked me how much longer I was supposed to be in here and I told her that I was leaving tomorrow. I didn't want to leave Remus, but he and I both knew I had to concentrate. My exams were getting closer and closer. On my last evening sat up crossed legged on my bed.

'I'll come and visit you as often as I can.' I spoke.

'I am not going to be ill for much longer, Hermione... please don't let me get in the way of your OWLs.' He replied.

'I am going to come and see you either way, Remus. I can handle the work, I promise.' I said.

'What exam are you most worried about?' Remus asked. And then we were off again. We buried ourselves in conversation again and I was loving every minuet of it. Almost as much as I loved him. I really did. I loved him. And I told him this on the Sunday morning just before I left.

'I love you, Hermione.' He replied. 'Still be careful around certain people.' I knew exactly who he meant. We both know that is was Malfoy and his cronies who attacked me on the train. However, no justice will be done now that Umbridge is headmistress. Luckily, I did not run into anyone as I made my way up to the Gryffindor common room. It was only until I got to the portrait when I realized that I didn't have the password. It's okay I told myself. Someone will be out soon to go to breakfast. And sure enough after a few minuets the doors swung open to reveal my two best friends.

'What time is Hermione leaving?' Ron said to Harry.

'Umm.. down here!' I said up to them. They looked down to see me sat against the wall. 'Let's go and get some breakfast. I am starving.', I said standing up. They took turns in hugging me before we made our way down to breakfast.


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay, hope you guys are all doing good. Here's the next chapter. I hope you guys like the story... if you do... give it a favorite and a follow. I am pretty sure I am not JK Rowling...**

**Notesandlit123**

I had settled back into school life. True, everything was different now that Umbridge was head, but I was greatful to get back into my school work. McGonagall's lessons were the best. It was obvious that she absoutely despised of Umbridge and she didn't do a very good job at hinding it. The toad resembling hag was still torturing students as a punishment. Every other student I saw had the tell tale markings on the back of their hands. Time was passing quickely and before I knew it, it was the week before our exams. I was sat in Umbridge's class when I completely lost it.

'You will take one theory exam as well as one practical.' She said in her annoying girlish drawl.

'Yeah, we're super prepared for the practical...' I muttered under my breath. But maybe a little too loudley.

'What was that, Miss Granger?' Umbridge squeaked. 'Did you say something?' I shook my head in response. 'I didn't think so' she smirked. And that was it. I stood up.

'Actually, yes I did say something.' Umbridge looked up at me in surprise. 'How do you expect us to do scrape an OWL after the utter crap you've been teaching us?' I never use crude language, but it just seemed to be the right thing to do.'You know, we have had one Professor who had LORD VOLDERMORT in his body.. and he was still ten times the teacher you are!' I was shaking with rage. I expected Umbridge to shout back, but instead she just said calmly...

'Detention, Miss Granger. My office, tonight at 7:00PM'

Oh great.

I knocked on the door of Umbridge's office. She opened the door and let me in. I was instructed to sit and write the lines 'I must learn to keep my temper' until 'it sunk in'. Of corse, I was expecting that. Harry had told me exactly how Umbridges denentions worked. I put the tip of the quill on the parchment and hesitated. Just bare through the pain. I started to write. I had written the lines about three times when I felt the brurning sensation on the back of my hand. I clenched a fist and continued to write. After about an hour Umbrige piped up.

'That's all, Miss Granger. You may go.' I stood up and left without saying anything. I looked down at my hand and gasped. The cut was so deep, it was numb with pain. The blood had run down my hand and had stained my skin. I walked into the common room to see Ron and Harry waiting up. Everyone else had gone to bed.

'Merlin, Hermione?!' Ron exclaimed. 'I haven't see any that bad?'

'Yeah well, "I must learn to keep my temper".' I said, slumping into a free armchair.

'You did give her a good beating.' Harry said quietly. Ron smirked. Then he let out a laugh. Harry joined in before we all were in fits of laughter. When we finally calmed down I spoke.

'We'll get through. We always do...'

I put my quill down. I had just finished my last exam. Relief washed through me, I had done alright. Even on my DADA Practical. I looked around the Great Hall... most people were still working. I raised my eyes up to Umbridge. She was sat looking over some parchment. Suddenly, the doors flew open and a beam of light shot past me. The firework exploded over us - sendung colourful sparks every where. Suddenly, the room was full of fireworks. Students whooped and cheered while Umbridge was screaming for eveybody to sit down. Suddenly, I felt an emense heat coming from behind me. I turned to a giant, dragon shaped firework chasing Umbridge up the eisle. I followed the flow of students outside. The display was still going on when I saw two familiar figures soring up past me on broom sticks. Of corse, this could only be the work of Fred and George. I turned to see Ron cheering with the rest of the school. I turned to see Harry but froze. He was collapsing on the ground.

'HARRY!' I shouted.


	18. Chapter 18

**I am back! I am sorry for my absence being so long, I wasn't planning on being away for I think it is like three weeks? But I just needed sometime to clear my head, get my school work under control and sort some personal matters out. Writing is a great release for me and it makes me feel better when things get too much but sometimes you just need a break from your daily routine. I hope you guys aren't too angry with me! So I wrote this at like 4AM one morning about a week ago so it may not be the best chapter, but I hope you enjoy it. I am going to start to write a nice ling chapter tonight, then I'll finish it tomorrow afternoon along with another one. I love hearing from you guys and a few of your supportive messages have really been cheering me up lately so thanks! I did not morph while I was away so I am still not JK Rowling.**

**~Notesandlit123**

'Harry! Don't give it to him, Harry!' I screamed. The wand against my neck was pressed in, even harder.

'Shut your filthy mouth', Snapped a harsh voice that I could not recognized. I took a sharp intake of breath as I jerked my head back. They had trapped us. As far as I could see, the death eaters had a hold of all of us. Except from Harry. Harry was stood in the center of the room, holding the prophecy. Lucius Malfoy had given him a choice. Hand him the prophecy or watch his friends die. It was obvious which choice Harry was going to make, but I was desperate for him to understand what the implications would be if Lucius got hold of the prophecy. It all made sense now. Voldermort was after what would ultimately tell him his fate. And what would tell him is fate was in Harry's hand right now. I did not cry, but I was thinking - we were really stuck this time. I could see no way out and we were all going to die. My breathing deepened as I watch Harry look Malfoy in the eyes. I felt my heart jump out of my body when Harry reached out and placed the orb in his hands. The last chance we had was gone. My worst nightmares were about to come true, Voldermort was going to rise to power again, we were all going to be killed and I was never going to see Remus again. I closed my eyes and imagined his face. He didn't know where we were going, he didn't know I was here. Did anybody know we were here? I clenched my fists and waited for the inevitable.

But it never came.

I heard a voice. 'Get away from my Godson.' I opened my eyes to see Sirius drive his fist into the side of Malfoy's face. He fell to the floor and, I watched time slow, as the prophecy fell to the floor. It smashed into many splintering pieces. My eyes were fixed to the spot where I saw the prophecy fall, unaware of the battle quickly forming around me. Ignoring the shout and curses flying around me. Oblivious to the havoc that had just broken out. The death eater who had had hold of me was gone but I did not think to run. I still didn't move. I never faltered, even when the icy cold eyes of Lucius Malfoy caught mine. He was picking himself up off the ground without looking away from me. As he straitened up, a snarl grew on his face. Panic pulsed through me as he started striding towards me. He raised his wand.

'You're troubling all the wrong people tonight, Lucius.' Said a voice, before the owner hit Malfoy square in the jaw. He hit the floor for the second time that night, yet this time it was not Sirius Black who had humbled the death eater. It was Remus. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I stood with my mouth slightly open as Remus spoke to me.

'Hermione. Hermione? Hermione, I need you to listen to me. I need you to take the others and get them out of here. Now. The Order is here, we will take care of it, but you have to get yourselves to safety. Use the fires. Get to Grimmauld Place.'

'I - I don't want to leave you here.' I stumbled.

'Hermione... please.' Remus said, looking at me. My chest was heaving although I had been stood still. I nodded.

'Okay' I said. Tears started streaming down my face. 'Be safe.' I said through my tears.

'I'll be back before you know it, I love you', he lowered his voice.

And before I could utter my three words, he was gone.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey, Guys! So here's the chapter. I'm going to start by clearing some confusion. One of you noticed that somethings in the story line don't add up but promise you that it'll all make sense soon. Just bare with me and everything will be explained :) Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter. I am not JK Rowling and all that :) Favorite and Follow if you like the story and drop me a review if you're feeling especially nice!**

**~Notesandlit123 **

I was sat at the table of Grimmauld place. We were all there, sat waiting, except for one. Harry was missing. For as far as we knew, he was still at the ministry. We were all so scared. Harry, Dumbledore and many members of the Order had not yet returned. It had been hours. Mrs Weasly, who had given up trying to preoccupy us, started placing bowls of soup in front of us. She had arrived at Grimmauld place with Fred and George as soon as the Order had discovered where we were. She had been pacing the fire place, waiting for us to arrive. The Order had planned to get us all to safety, then fight. I stared down at my soup as if trying to find reassurance in the thick creamy layer coating the top. Remus. I had left him to fight and I may never see him again. I do not under estimate his strength, but I could not be sure on the amount of death eaters that were present in the ministry that night. I did not know if they were outnumbered. Guilt racked me. I should have stayed with him - I should have got the others to the fire place and then returned to help them.

'What have I done?' I said out loud. Though I said it to myself, the people around the kitchen table had looked up at me. Curious as to the reason the deafening silence was broken. Mrs Weasly looked horrified.

'Oh, Hermione. None of this is anyone's fault.' I looked at the table as tears started to fill my eyes. 'Look at me, Hermione.' I raised my head so that my eyes were level with hers.

'He'll be alright, Hermione.' My heart stopped - she knew. I opened my mouth but, for the second time that evening, no sound came out. 'Now, eat something, and know that each person that went to the ministry is going to come back.' Although I was sure that this was a half attempt to reassure herself as much as us. And I did. I devoured the bowl of soup. Normally I lost my appetite very easily but not this time. I ate the whole bowl of soup and, once I was finished, I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. The warm soup heating my insides and my body was becoming heavier and heavier. I suddenly felt so warm and soft. My breathing steadied and I soon floated off into a dreamless sleep.

I was lifted from the table and I was held in strong arms. I opened my eyes a fraction, still over come with sleep. Warm colours rushed past me. I closed them again. I was being carried up a flight of stairs. I opened my eyes slightly again, I was in the corridor. A mummer of a spell from a husky voice and then the sound of a door creaking open filled my ears. I closed my eyes as my body hit the soft cushions of a bed. I sank into the soft sheets as the duvet was softly placed over me. And as quickly as that, I drifted back off into my undisturbed slumber.

I awoke feeling the most rested I had felt in a long time. I was in a room that I recognized as being part of Grimmauld place and I glanced at the Grand Father clock in the corner of the room through the dark. It was 3:05AM and the sun would be rising in about an hour and a half. I shifted my eyes to the window, the long, thin curtains where blowing in the slight breeze coming from the window - silvery moonlight flowing through the gaps. I sat up in bed and slowly got up. Crossing my arms across my chest for warmth, I walked over to the curtains and drew them. I stood at the window and looked out. I looked at the dark shapes that were the muggle houses against the landscape - none of their windows had lights in. Except one. Just across the street I saw that one of the first floor lights was on. I was on a higher floor so I could look down into what I presume was a living room to see a woman sat on the sofa. The muggle looked to be in her thirties and she was sat on the edge of the cushion, with her elbows on her knees and head in her hands. I think she was crying. It wasn't just a few tears either, she was sobbing in to her hands. I could just see that her teeth were gritted as her body shook with tears. I looked at her and wondered what her life was like. What was it that had drove her to this level of grief? At this thought I started looking to all the other houses. All the individual people on this street and their lives were completely alien to me. They all had their own worlds with their own stresses and worries. I pressed my face against the glass of the window. I closed my eyes and took a long breath out, leaving condensation on the pane. I felt a presence behind me but before I could turn around, I felt hands wrap around my waist. I jumped at the touch but Remus spoke.

'Shhh, it's me...'. I immediately sank into his arms with relief. He bent his head down and pressed his head against my cheek and I returned the gesture, hugging into him.

'You're safe' I whispered. 'I am so happy that you're safe' A tear escaped my eye. 'I - I thought I was never going to see you again. I thought that I had just left you to... to die.'

'It takes more than a few death eaters to get rid of me. Well, there was a little more than a few...' He said, still whispering. He laughed lightly but realized that it would not make me feel better. 'Anyway, I needed you to get the others back and safe. You did so well, Hermione.' I turned around in his arms so that I was facing him. I raised up on my tip toes and pressed my lips against his. It was a soft and tender kiss but did not lack any of the love between us. When we broke apart, he took my chin in his hand and stroked my face with his thumb. The rough skin passed over my lips, sending electricity through me. A thought hit me.

'The others. Is everyone else okay?' I asked.

'There's several injuries but Tonks...' Remus looked down. 'We lost Tonks.' My heart seemed to drop through to the floor. Tonks, the kind, funny, fiesty yet sweet natured woman, gone.

'What happened?'

'She was hit by Bellatrix Lestrange - the killing curse. And... and then she fell through the veil.' He said, a shake in his voice. I suddenly remembered the veil he was talking about. The one in the department of mysteries.

'And - and Harry?' I questioned.

'With Dumbledore. At Hogwarts.' I pulled out of his embrace and went and lied down on the bed. He sat down next to me. I was on my front and he put his hand on the small of my back. 'It's going to be alright, Hermione. You are loved so much by so many people and I am one of them. You need to stop beating yourself down whenever something goes wrong. I know you're scared something's going to happen and I know you're scared that you are going to lose your friends. But I promise you won't be alone.'


	20. Chapter 20

**Okay, guys! I have a new chapter for you. I have to admit something to you. I started this chapter a few days ago and completely forgot about it. I came to write this evening and discovered this. So I finished it and here it is! I also have something for you YouTube fans out there. A lovely girl I know who is friends with my younger sister has just started a YouTube channel. Now, I've looked at her videos and they're good. She is only just starting out but I really think that it's going to go somewhere, so both her and I would really appreciate it if you took a look at her channel. The link is: channel/UCITI4KA0i-nkCmfLQkOB-fA **

**Now I have another YouTube link for you. This is someone I know. His Channel is just starting to kick of and he has got a really good response from his videos so far, so go check some of these links out if you want!:**

**Twitter: /_MrThoughtless_  
>Facebook: MrThoughtles...<br>SnapChat: evitzthum  
>Insta: Thoughtlessvlogs<strong>

**Thoughtless Vlogs ( _MrThoughtless_) | Twitter**

** Vine: thoughtlessvlogs**

**youtube: channel/UCo09bKfOQf5wMaH3uw_hYcA**

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**Finally, I am still not JK Rowling no matter how much I try. Give it a favorite and a follow if you're new and maybe drop a review if you're feeling extra special **

**~Notesandlit123 **

Remus and I had lain on our backs on the bed for about two hours. We had left the window open and watched the sun rise together. We watched the sky as the redish hue of the horizon crept up the sky until it was blazing with amazing colours. The clouds, with their pinkish hues, seemed to jump off the soft blues and yellows of the morning sky. We talked gently with each other.

'When are we going to get to be together?' I muttered softly to him. I looked over, as he turned onto his side to look at me.

'Soon.' That's all he said. 'Soon'. I didn't know what to say back. I loved him so much and all I wanted was to know that I was allowed to love him. Openly. I looked at him, deep into his eyes, as if I could just push all my feelings through that eye connection. He reached up and took a lock of my hair between his fingers. He had a habit of doing that recently.

'I love you so much' He whispered. My heart fluttered in my chest. Every time.

'You get me every time you say something like that.' I said through the small smile that spread across my face. He looked at me, a smile now growing on his face.

'I love you too, Remus.' He put rested his forehead against mine and exhaled deeply.

'We are going to be okay, Hermione.' He said in a low voice.

'I hope so' I replied, closing my eyes.

'I know', Said a different voice. Remus and I both jumped apart. Remus completely stood up as I sat up on the bed and watched the wave of horror that swept through Remus as he saw Mrs Weasly in the door way.

'M - Molly... Molly, I can... I can explain...' Remus spluttered as he pleaded with Mrs Weasly. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eye.

'Remus - I know.' She said calmly. Remus' face slowly formed into an expression of shock.

'How?' He said weakly. 'Hermione?' He turned to me.

'Hermione did not tell me anything, Remus. I just have an intuition. I could see there was something between you for a long time. Longer than you two knew I think! I just didn't know how... strong it was.' I felt my cheeks go red. 'But just because I know does not mean that I am not going to make you wait until she is of age.' She said. 'And I am sorry if I sound a prude but that means no more lying on a bed and...'

'Molly' He said urgently. 'Molly, it was nothing. It's not... That was never my intention. You should know that! I would never even think of...' I blushed even harder as I watched him trying to explain himself.

'I know it's not your intentions, Remus - you are a good man. Please, just try and distance yourselves. There is only two months until she is of age an-'

'Mrs Weasly, we understand. Thank you for caring and understanding that we... that we...' I started.

'That we love each other' Remus finished. I looked up at him and saw his eyes flicker as we looked at each other. The flicker that started it all.

I closed the door to the bedroom behind me - Remus was going to sleep in there. He hadn't slept for a long time so I was going to leave him to rest. I slowly walked down the corridor, for the first time noticing that I was still in the same clothes as I had been wearing the day before. I contemplated having a shower but then remembered that none of my other clothes would be here yet. So, forgetting about how unclean I felt, I continued down the stairs and along the corridor. I was surprised when I entered the kitchen to see Sirius sat at the table. His elbows were on the table and his hands were pushing his hair back. His eyes stared at the table, dead. The usual light in Sirius' eyes was gone. 'Sirius?' I said in a small voice when he still did not notice me when I walked right into the room. He suddenly snapped up and looked at me. He held my gaze for a second before sinking back into his chair. It was frightening to see him like this. I took the seat next to him and asked, 'Sirius, what's wrong?' He looked down at the table, still no expression in his eyes.

'You know, Hermione. Life has a cruel way of convincing you that maybe, stuff was going to get better and keep getting better - but then it rips everything away from you.' He spoke in a tired, quiet voice.

'Sirius, I am confused.'

'I get out of Azkaban. I build a relationship with Harry. I start to get a life back, helping the order. I meant something.' He continued

'But, Sirius, what do you mean' I tried, but he interrupted again.

'If there's one piece of advice I can give you about life, Hermione - it's to never fall in love.' His words hit me with confusion. What was he talking about? I looked at him, to the lost, distant look in his eyes and I realized.

'Tonks' I whispered. It all made sense. Remus had said, we lost Tonks. Suddenly, Sirius broke into tears, his body shaking.

'I loved her so much and... and she loved me. But now she's gone. Isn't she?... ISN'T SHE?' He shouted at me. I didn't know what to do. I just sat and flinched at each word that came from his mouth. 'I told her to stay. I told her not to come.' He continued shouting, pure pain coming out in his face. 'But she didn't listen. And now she's gone. I am never going to see her again. I am never going to be able to talk to her, never going to see her face. I won't even be able to think of her without knowing that she's DEAD.' He finished, screaming. 'and it hurts', a sob escaped his mouth. 'It hurts so much' I looked at him. I could almost see the pain going through him. He must have loved her so much. 'We didn't get enough time.' He said quietly. 'It's not fair that she was taken from me' He looked so weak, so fragile. Sirius Black, so rugged and strong, sank lower and lower into himself - his heart was not only broken. The loss of Tonks was ripping his whole body up. I started speaking, not really thinking, just speaking.

'But Sirius, she's not gone. She is still with us. In our memories and in our love. Just because she... she is dead, does not mean your love is dead. Your love is keeping her alive, within you. I am not going to pretend that I knew about your relationship, but what I do know is Tonks. She wouldn't have wanted her death to leave you like this. Thinking she's gone. Because she isn't. As long as you love her, and as long as we keep her in our hearts and in our memories, then she will never be gone. She died loving you and she knows... by God she knows that you loved her too.'

'


	21. Chapter 21

**Another chapter. It's half term now so I am free for a week! However I have LOADS of homework and essays so you'll have to bare with me. Sorry if it's not the best chapter, I was doing a show with my stage school last night in a massive theatre last night and didn't get back until late. So if there is any errors or typos I am sorry! If you like the story and you're new then give it a favorite and a follow! I also LOVE reviews! So type away if you want, you can also PM me or email me on . Also I have now set up a twitter account so and it's a great way for me to interact with you guys so follow me if you want notesandlit**  
><strong>I am not JK Rowling... and I love ya! <strong>

**~Notesandlit123**

**P.S Sorry the story is kind of sad at the moment!**

There was a harsh, hollow feeling inside my chest. It was a physical feeling, deep inside me - as if all my emotions where beating my insides up. I tried for the rest of the day after I talked with Sirius to shake it, but I couldn't. I avoided Remus and the others all day and I just stayed inside my room. Several people came to the door at different times of the day asking if I was okay but I think they got the hint eventually because it came to five o'clock in the evening and I had been left, undisturbed, for about three hours. I wasn't tired at all which was surprising seems as how very little sleep I had got last night. I just sat on the floor with my back up against the bed looking down through the window, thinking about the woman I had seen in the early hours of the morning. What are we doing? I thought. Remus and I? What were the chances of us both surviving the war that was bound to arrive? Either both of us would be killed or one of us will be left like Sirius. Dead without the other. As these thoughts ran through my head, contrasting ones also fought their way in. Like I was arguing with myself with in my thoughts. I was thinking about what would happen to me with out Remus - if he was killed. I was thinking about how I would be trapped in myself, like Sirius was right now, somewhere below me in the house. His mind filled with one thought - the death of the person he loved. However, I was also furious with myself. My parents, Ron and Harry - they all cared about me. I would have them. Also, I wouldn't be the only one who would suffer at the loss of Remus. The whole Order loved him - we were all a family. A family that would be heading to war. We were going to lose people. People were going to die. What happens if I lose everyone I care about? We had already lost Tonks, who would it be next? Ron? Harry? My two best friends and we were three of the people that Voldermort would want. I didn't want to lose my friends - the people I loved. I could see no way of solving this. All my life I could solve puzzles, I came across a problem and I could work it out. But this time it was different. Even if we won the war we will still inevitably lose people and I don't know how I would cope if I lost someone I cared about. I had never had to. I had never had someone close to me die. I was lost. Everything had gone wrong and I didn't know what I was going to do. I heard the door open.

'I can't sit out there listening to you like this and not come in, Hermione' Said a voice that made me jolt. Remus came round to the side of the bed were I was leaning. He sat down next to me but didn't put his arm around me. I could see his discomfort. He wanted to say something... do something but he was restraining himself. It was only when he said my name so softly that I almost didn't hear him, that I realized I had been crying. Sobbing. My face was soaked with tears and I was shaking. But I shook my head and got myself together. I had to stop doing this. I stood up but did not look at Remus even though I could feel his eyes on me. 'Hermione' He said. But I shook my head again and started to walk away. He grabbed my hand. 'Please talk to me, Hermione' He said, I caught his eye before leaving the room.


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey guys, sorry for the silence. Exams are catching up with me! Here's a long one for you. Love you all! If you're new give us a favorite and follow if you like it. Reviews are always welcome!**

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I had not seen Remus in 2 days. Yes, I had seen him around Grimmuald Place - in the corridor and at meals - but I just could not bring myself to face him. He had seen me at my most vulnerable. My weakest side. Remus had seen me cry too many times; I didn't want him to think I was weak, sensitive - immature. I was so ashamed at myself, I spent most of my time in the room, reading. I would read anything that pushed my thoughts out of my head. The thoughts that had driven me to despair two days previously. The harsh, hollow feeling still had not left me. In fact, after what happened at the Ministry, the whole of the house seemed to gain a gloomy atmosphere. At meals, conversations were forced people took no time to linger after everyone had finished eating. I had not seen Sirius since the conversation we'd had the morning after Tonks died. According to Harry and Ron, he was spending all his time in the rooms at the very top of the house. Mrs Weasly had tried to get him to come to dinner the first day, but didn't try the next evening after he rejected both Breakfast and Lunch. I was worried about him. We were worried about him. Sometimes he would come up in conversation at dinner. Everyone new that it must have been something that had happened in the Ministry, but only I knew the exact reason he had closed in on himself. However, I had the feeling that Remus knew too. Speculation on what was wrong with him was a popular topic between Ron and Harry in particular,

'I just wish he'd talk to me', Harry said quietly to Ron and I as we sat eating at the far end of the table. I noticed instead of eating it, Harry was pushing his food around is plate. 'I don't understand. What happened that night was awful but I don't get has made him like this'.

'Maybe seeing Bellatrix and the other death-eaters brought back memories from when he was in Azkaban?' Ron questioned. Ron's contribution had no effect on Harry. Instead, he looked up at us.

'Do you think it's me? Do you think is disappointed that I brought you all to the Ministry?' Harry's eyes were full of pain. My heart sank and wished that I could tell him the truth.

'No, Harry. Don't you dare say that. None of this is your fault. You did what you thought was best.' I pleaded with him. 'If you hadn't, Sirius wouldn't be a free man.' I was right there. Voldermort had been sighted by the Minister for Magic. Fudge was now taking Dumbledore's word on everything - including Sirius' innocence. We got the news yesterday. It had brought a glimmer of hope and happiness to the house, even if only for a short time. I did not know whether Sirius knew yet, but he was free man. Harry stood up.

'I'm going to bed.' He said. And with that, he stood up and left the room, leaving his untouched meal on the table. I sighed and put down my fork. Something had to be done about this and soon. We all couldn't go on living like this. I pushed my almost empty plate away from me to signal that I was finished. I looked over at Mrs Weasly. She sat finishing her meal in silence. She tried her best to boost moral in the house - she really did. Family was so important to Molly Weasly, and I could see the current situation was taking a toll on her. She had dark circles under her eyes, and not the slightest trace of a true smile could be found on her lips. I really had a lot of respect for Molly. What she must have had going on her head sent shivers down my spine. She must have felt sickening worry for every single one of her family members. She had to worry about all of her children during the war that was approaching. She had lived through one, she knew how many loses we would suffer. Suddenly, she looked up.

'Right, is everyone finished?' A forced, toothy smile stretched across her face as she started to pick up all the plates. I stood up.

'No, Mrs Weasly. Let me do that tonight. You do it every night - go on and relax.' I shot her a smile and I saw a wave of gratitude sweep through her. I saw the tension leave her shoulders.

'Thank you, Hermione.' She walked towards me and put her hand to my cheek. 'Where would we be with out you?' She smiled at me, a deep, true smile. She removed her hand as she took off her apron and hung it up on a hook behind the pantry door. She joined the others as they all left the kitchen. I turned towards the sink and turned on the hot tap. I was going to do this the muggle way. Every year, on Christmas evening, I would do all the dishes left from our Christmas dinner as a thank you to my Mother for cooking it for us. I poured soap into the warm water and watched at it started to bubble. I put my hands in the water and massaged them in the suds, the hot water relaxing me. I closed my eyes and sighed out. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

'Here, I'll help.' Remus walked to my side and picked up a fresh tea towel. He stood looking at me. I dragged my eyes away from him and picked up the first plate. I placed it in the water and scrubbed it with a sponge. Once I had cleaned it, I put it on the side, only to see Remus pick it up and start drying it. I caught on and started on the other dishes. We were about half way through when he spoke.

'Are you going to talk to me?' I looked up at him.

'Remus...' I started but Remus did not let me finish.

'Are you angry with me?' My breath caught in my throat. 'Do you think I should have done more to save Tonks?' I felt my eyes widen with shock as I looked at the pain in his eyes.

'Remus - I... no! What are you talking about?' I stuttered. Remus turned back and continued drying the bowl in his hand.

'I thought maybe you were avoiding me because you were upset about Tonks.' He said quietly. My heart dropped. Has he really been worried about this for the past 2 days? I put my plate down and turned to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head below his chin.

'You know, for one of the most intelligent men I know, you have jumped to a very silly conclusion.' I said softly. Remus took me in his arms as I spoke. 'I was embarrassed. I didn't want you to think that I was... I was weak and... and childish.' I said this very quietly, it sounded so stupid saying it aloud. I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting saying anything at all. Remus placed his hands on my fore arms and held me away from him, looking at me with a worried expression on my face.

'What, Hermione? No!What are you talking about?' He asked, pleading with me through his eyes.

'It's just, I have cried a lot recently, I didn't want you to think that I was weak, or couldn't cope with everything that's happening.' I said.

'Hermione', Remus said, looking into my eyes. 'You are such a strong, grounded, intelligent person. I know that you aren't weak. But I also know that you can't always be so strong. Just because it has overwhelmed you on a couple of occasions, does not mean that you cannot face what is ahead. You, Harry and Ron have had to grow up very quickly in the past few years and I would never have expected anyone of your age to deal with some of the things you have had to deal with. But the thing is, Hermione - I know you can do it. I also know that you are going to have days when you feel you can't cope but I promise you, everything is going to be okay.' He pulled me back into his arms and kissed the top of my head. 'Remember what I told you, Hermione. I promise you won't be alone.

I fell asleep with Remus at the kitchen table. We stayed up until the early hours of the morning, talking. Talking like we used to. And while hearing his voice, his words, I felt something inside of me. Something starting to break through all the worries I had inside me. The feeling reassured me. It calmed me. I felt hope.

'It's Tonks.' I said to Remus the following evening. We had both done the washing for Mrs Wealsy again and were now sitting at the table. I was 10PM. The room had a warm glow to it and the delicious smells from our meal earlier still lingered in the air. The radio in the corner of the room was playing soft, warm music quietly. I looked at Remus. I was so in love with the man sat in front of me.

'I understand. He is lost in greif - wait... how do you know?' Remus asked.

'I spoke to him, that morning', I sighed 'I guessed from what he was saying to me.' We both sat in scilence for a while.

'We have to go and talk to her', Remus said to me, 'He hasn't eaten in three days.' He stood up at held out his hand. I took it and stood up. We walked out of the room together.


End file.
